The JACKALOPE Threat
December 7, 1999 - A day that will live in infamy.
High Grand Emperor Ralphable I has detected
the Jackalope threat and has decided to declare war on this vicious but
related species. More closely related to hares than rabbits (thus the
designation Lepus Temperamentalus), the threat comes from their
carnivorous activities, especially for other types of lagomorphs,
including Cottontail Rabbits. Having discovered their natural territory,
being the Great Plains area of North America, especially Wyoming, has not
deterred Ralphable, the supreme commander of
the grand rabbit army (at least in his own mind), in his decision to exterminate
this mortal enemy. Of course, Ralphable
will accomplish this task while he is taking over the world.
In reality, Jackalopism, is created by a naturally
occuring North American disease in rabbits called papillomatosis, where
certain growths caused by a parasite harden. When such growths occur on
the top of a rabbit's head, they may resemble horns, thus leading to the birth
of the Jackalope legend.
Douglas, WY] Ralphable's soldiers corner Jackalope sympathizers.
In a bold attempt, two human Jackalope sympathizers, disguised as stagecoach
drivers for a historical site's ride, were detained by Ralphable's foot soldiers
on Tuesday, February 29, 2000. They were caught smuggling Jackalope milk for
sale on the black market to fund their terrorist acts against rabbits. Jackalope
milk, being an extremely rare commodity, would have fetched a high price, thus
funding many covert operations. Ralphable is quite proud that his soldiers
intercepted the shipment and as a result, has bestowed citations of merit.
(Pictured: Artist's rendition of the arrest)
For more on Jackalopes, I suggest the following: